If you happen to walk by a newsstand today, pick up a copy of the new issue of Reader's Digest. (It's the "Special 1,000th Issue" with Tom Hanks on the cover).
Then turn to page 118 in the article "Me Me Media". They write about Bubby! How exciting!
P.S. You have seen Bubby's book, right?
I discovered your website some time ago and I didn't dare write about minor problems I had (and that are resolved by now). But I'm in dire need of advice right now.
To be precise, I'm a 25-year-old French girl but I'm currently leaving in Belgium with my boyfriend and we're planning to get married. I studied a lot (I do have a Masters in Human Resources) and have been looking for my first job for the last month.
I had lots of interviews and a French company made an official offer to me for a job in Paris. Unfortunately, I don't really like the company's philosophy and the position is designed for an experienced worker. My parents were really excited and wanted me to accept, but I wish I could decline and find something more in adequation with my experience and my wishes. I am afraid my parents will resent me if I don't accept but they'll think I declined because of my boyfriend is living in Brussels and not in Paris.
I know you can't tell me what I must do because the decision is up to me, but can you help me clarify this hard situation?
Thanks very much Bubby!
From the Old Continent
Dear Old Continent,
It is a terrible feeling to get up in the morning and go to a job that you don't like or are not qualified for. Just give yourself more time to find the job for which you are trained and you are qualified.
In the job that you have been offered, have they said they will train you because if you have a good education, you will learn the new job in record time.
Don't worry about your boyfriend. If you really love one another distance will not make a difference. There are many ways to communicate - calls, travel and when the time is right, you can plan a wedding.
Put your thinking cap on. Talk it over with your parents and boyfriend together. You will get a lot of assurances.
You are the hippest to the hoppist grandmother I never had, and most likely will never EVER have!
So here my prob.
It all started when I was 12. My mom ordered pizza (spicy italian-cheddar-corn-jungle style) and I went to the door for the pizza and I had this sudden urge to hug the pizza guy. From then on every time I meet someone, they stick out their hand and I just have to hug them. It got me fired from my job once.
What should I do? Please help.
If you have the urge to hug anyone you meet or anyone who comes to your door, the best thing to do is ask the person if he/she would mind if you extended a hug. That person would either go along with the joke or say NO.
That person at the door would also think that you must be a little "off". My advice is break the habit in a hurry. Keep your hands behind your back.
Me and my family are always fighting. I just want it to end. My parents yell at me and my brother thinks he's such a wonderful gift to the world. It drives me nuts. I try to just stay in my room and stay out of it but it never works.
Please, help me.
Dear Boy Blue,
I am sorry that your parents are forever shouting but what is the reason for it? You don't tell me. What do you do that is so upsetting?? How old are you? I don't have a crystal ball and I am not a mind reader and I do want to help you. Please write me again and I will do my utmost to help you.
You should not get lost in your room. You should be able to discuss your problem with your parents. If not, how about your teacher or anyone else you trust?
Let me hear from you again.
As a faithful helpmebubby.com reader and a good girlfriend to one of your granddaughters (who, by the way, shares your fantastic sense of humor!), I can assure your readers that you are real! What a blessing you are to your family.
So, here's where I get to borrow you for some wise advice:
I was recently invited to a wedding of a male friend whom I was very close to. We had our falling out and attempted to renew our friendship. However, this has been very difficult and we only barely talk to each other now. The problem is that I found out, through a mutual friend, that the wedding invitations were sent out TWO WEEKS before he asked me for my mailing address.
I felt that the only reason why I received an invitation was because his "original" list of invites had already responded. My question is, should I got to this wedding knowing that I was invited as a "filler" or should I decline the invitation? I am really torn and would love to hear what you think.
Dear Filler Friend,
I can tell you from experience that one of the first nerve wracking problems in preparing for a wedding is "who shall I invite". The list goes on and on.
If you would like to resume the friendship with the person and you would like to go to the wedding and maybe meet some new friends, by all means GO. In all probability someone else can't be present and you were next to be invited. You are not crashing at all and you should remember that a gift is important whether you go or not.
So, GO and have a good time.
How is it going? All right, let's get to me now...
I'm 16 years old and my life really sucks. It all started about 8 years ago when I was 8 years old. I was swinging at home when I suddenly fell on my stomach and my face banged on the floor. Luckily I didn't get hurt anywhere on my face but ended up hurting my lip. My lip bled so much. It was night so my parents couldn't take me for stitches. I don't know why. Well the next day when I woke up I saw a huge pimple on my lip. Sadly I have it till now.
My mates feel sorry for me. Some of them laugh at me and they keep asking me if that's gonna be there forever. I'm often being called ugly. I never had a boyfriend. I don't blame them coz who would like to go out with an ugly girl like me? I hate going in public coz everyone stares at me...
Please help me, Bubby. I really need your help.
16 & Sad
Dear 16 & Sad,
I was really sad when I read your question but whatever happened can be corrected. First your Mother should take you to the Doctor and find out what is on your lip. Can it be removed?? Go to a dermatologist and get his/her opinion. It may be that you had this "thing" since you were born but it did not appear until you reached a certain age.
I am not a doctor so I can't tell you what it is but whatever it is your doctor will know the remedy and I recommend to get to that doctor as soon as possible. I would be interested to know the solution.
Please let me know and good luck.
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You can still read the great letters, you're just going to have to try to enjoy them with out the images.
We're working on fixing this as fast as we can! Sorry everyone...
*Update: It's fixed!
I have a problem....of course. I know a boy from school who I think likes me TOO much. He calls me ALL the time, and he leaves gifts on my front porch....and I don't know how he found out where I live! He is always asking me to hang out, but I don't want to. I have told him that perhaps he is more interested in a relationship than I am, but since he is from another culture, I don't think he understood. He just asked if he could call later. Not only is it embarrassing to find these gifts on my porch, I am also concerned that it will become more extreme. How can I get him to leave me alone without being rude?
Confused (and Jewish as well)
I think you are not strong enough in telling this young man that you don't want to see him. If he continues to annoy you, have your parents tell him that you are not ready for male companionship or to "hang out".
Don't take any of the things he leaves at your house and don't take his phone calls. Let him know that you are definitely NOT INTERESTED.
Are u real? Are u really an 89 years old grandma?? This is unbelievable!
Anyway, here my problem. I am 19 years old female from Malaysia. I just quit college last month, and now I am tying to figure out what I really want in my life.
I have been doing the same part time job for a month and I'm sick of it. I want to get back to school again, but I can't apply for loans because I have bad record in bank last time. The only thing I can do is work for few years and when I have enough money I will get back to school.
I really don't want to waste my time to work just to get back to school. Plz Bubby, is there any way a student like me can find money very fast way?? My parent can't support me anymore.
Why did you leave school at this time when you knew that in leaving you could get only a menial job? You could never find a job to pay you enough to pay tuition and living expenses. I suggest you go see the person in charge at the school, explain your predicament and ask for aid that you can pay back after you graduate. It is done all the time. I did it. I worked hard, graduated at the top of my class and got a good position.
You don't tell me why you left school. I worked right in the school after classes and earned half of my tuition and paid off the balance when I worked. The only way to get where you want to go is to work for it.
Let me try to paint you a picture. I'm a single 34 year old mother of a 10 year old girl. My mother and sister have played a significant role in my daughter's life and have always been there to help me out without me having to ask. My sister and I have always been close and did everything together. We have always lived together (me, my daughter, sister).
The dilemma comes to play when I got engaged (to a man that I have know for 4.5 years.) Me and my fiance have chosen a wedding date soon and moved in together to create stability for the three of us (me, fiance, and daughter). Now both my mom and my sister feel I am taking my daughter away them. My sister feels that I have chosen my fiance over the family. They believe that since I will be living 40 minutes away, they would never see her....which I have repeatedly indicated that would not be the case.
I understand that they are suffering from a lost. But I just can't get them to understand that me and my daughter have the opportunity to be a family unit with my fiance. I'm so looking forward to my wedding but dread dealing with my mom and sister. But I would never deprive them of my daughter.
Do you have any suggestions to aid in my dilemma?
40 minutes away from your mother and sister is no big deal and they should be happy that you are at last finding someone with whom you and your daughter can have a happy home.
You could be moving to another country and they would see you and your daughter less and less. This problem can easily be solved. You can call each other between visits and you could take turns seeing one another for family affairs such as birthdays, Mothers Day, etc.
A visit will be an occasion to look forward to. I went through that and it worked out just fine.
One year ago...
On July 6th of 2004 we received an advice-seeking letter from a woman who was having trouble with her mother-in-law. She wrote, "She rarely offers help... She doesn't seem to respect our choices and always tells us how she used to do things. I get upset just thinking about an upcoming visit with her." She asked our Bubby for advice on overcoming her frustration with her own daughter's grandma. Bubby was supportive and advised the new mom to "lay down some rules" with her mother-in-law.
One year later, here's an update!
I was very glad to receive your advice and I certainly applied it. For a while we seemed to have our conflicts under control. Although every now and then my mother-in-law does things I disapprove of (like giving the now one-year-old baby sweets), she respects me a lot more.
Now I am not afraid to speak out what I think. It's not the best of relationships yet. She loves showing up without notice and is rarely available when we need help. Reading my first letter, at least I realized I was a lot more shaken by her attitudes before than I am now. I guess I had lowered my expectations.
All the best to bubby and granddaughters,
Feet on the ground mom.
Well I am glad that your Mother-in-law is thinking in the right direction. I'm sure that you are too. You will find that as you go along, both of you being on the right track will work things out that will be best for both of you.
You don't have to be afraid to tell your mother-in-law if it is inconvenient for you or the baby if she just "drops in". Your baby might be napping or you are taking her for a walk or you have a Dr. appointment. Use your best apologetic voice and she will understand.
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