Thursday, March 27, 2008
Purim!
Baking hamentashen with Bubby for Purim
A recent visit to Bubby's house resulted in a very creative afternoon. Hope you enjoy this short film made by Bubby's granddaughter!
Click on the white triangle above to start the movie. ♥, BUBBY
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Friday, February 22, 2008
Overheard on the red carpetJoan Rivers: "And what are you wearing tonight?"
Natalie Portman: "Oh, this is an original 'Help Me, Bubby!' t-shirt I bought at cafepress, thanks to my favorite blog."
Joan Rivers: "It's fabulous. I'm kvelling over it. Melissa, get one of these for my grand kids! I want to be hearted, too."
Just in time of Oscar season, we have three new items in the marketplace today! Click here to visit.
If you've purchased one of our items before (and we know tons of you have!), take a photo of yourself or someone else wearing the item, and email it to us. We'll feature you on Bubby's website...!
♥, BUBBY
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Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Letters from you!
We get letters every day, and some of them you wouldn't believe! But this month we recevied a lovely one from Michael. He wrote,
Bubby,
It's amazing to me that most Jewish people here don't know what a bubby is and call their grandmother's - grandma. It's amazing what you are doing with the blog.
Good luck,
Michael
Thanks, Michael! This reminds us of a post we put up in July of 2006, regarding Bubby's yiddish moniker. Lots of people ask us about her name. Click here for a refresher on the meaning.
And then we received a cool letter from a woman who calls herself, Lost and Hopeful. She wrote to Bubby about a letter we posted in August of 2007. This is the first time we've recieved a letter from someone asking one of our readers to follow up (usually we have to do the asking!). Here is her question:
Dear Bubby,
I've been reading your old letters, and I came across one that inspired me. Lost Seeker [Monday, August 28 2007] sounds a lot like me. I feel the exact same way as him. I was uninspired when I graduated, and have yet to pick a direction. I am also wondering about love, but that's another story.
I was actually wondering if I could find out how he's doing now? If he went in a particular direction? Maybe his story can help me. Could you ask me if he could give me some pointers? He just sounds like someone I'd like to speak to.
Thank you,
Lost & hopeful
We've reposted the letter she is reffering to below. And of course, we've already sent a note asking our reader for a follow-up! Check back soon to see his reply.
Dear Bubby,
First I want to say that I think your website is wonderful! It's beautiful to see you lovingly helping so many people out there!! If only there were more people like you out there. I send out much love to you!!!
I'm a 22-year-old male, and for the past 6 years I have been feeling more and more lost in life. I just finished college, majoring in science, and although I loved it at first, I ended college with no interest to pursue a career in the subject. I thought by this point in life, I would have my life sorted out a little more.
Most people I know have figured out what they want to do with themselves, they know what type of occupation they want, and they are in long term relationships. Here I am, with no real direction in life, have never had a solid relationship, and no sure sign of one happening soon (or ever).
I've decided to take a year to travel around. I spent 2 months living in Spain, and will be returning to Europe shortly. I'm hoping that travel will help me learn a lot more about the world, about people, and about myself. And hopefully it will help me find some direction.
My question is: Does direction in life ever come?? How exactly does one find it? My current plan is to wander the planet until I find it. And true love? Does it really exist? Is there really a soul mate for everyone? Does life ever come together? I really need the advice of somebody who has been in the world long enough to know the nature of it better than I do.
Thanks so much,
Lost Seeker
Dear Lost Seeker,
I think maybe you don't give yourself enough time wherever it is you go. You should put down roots and get to know the people around you.
Take a job where there are lots of people. Maybe a large corporation. And you'll learn to deal with different personalities. Some will be good, some bad, some will have expectations and others will never get off the ground. And you should learn the difference.
Yes, there is a true soul mate. And you will find that it will find you. And one day without hunting, she'll be there. I know. Because I went through it.
Just wait and see. True love will come. ♥, BUBBY
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Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Dear Bubby,
I discovered your website today and it's so good to know that somewhere in the world I can talk to a grandmother who would care of me. Unfortunately I never had talks with my own grandmothers. Sometimes I feel alone and I know my friends can't help me because they are too young. Sometimes I see an older woman in the street or in the bus and I wonder about the luck their grandchildren have.
I've always wanted to ask questions about love to someone I can trust and who has enough experiences.
I would like to know, according to all your experiences, if love can overcome everything? I think I am in love with someone. But, well, it's a girl. She has problems with drugs. I'm only 18 and people thinks it's stupid, but... This situation is probably absolutely crazy for you. I feel so lost and I just didn't know what to do.
I wish you an happy birthday and all the best. You are just wonderful.
With a lot of love,
LuvGirl
Dear LuvGirl,
There's a lot more to it than just love. Is the person reliable? Is the person helpful? Is the person healthy? Of course if they are good looking and educated then that is much more agreeable. No need to worry about being good looking, there's always more to a person than a happy face. That goes along with it. But it is important to have a good heart.
If they have a strong will, anyone can overcome drugs. She has to put them away and get rid of them. That's very important. I don't know how she started doing them but she has to get rid of them once and for all. She can keep saying, "tomorrow" and "tomorrow" and "tomorrow" but that will make it worse. It takes a strong will.
She has to tell herself that enough is enough. I'm not going to take them anymore! I'm going to throw them all out and stay away from them forever and forever. The drugs would certainly shorten her life. It takes a strong will and only she knows how strong she is.
"Tomorrow" will never come. There is no end to tomorrows. There's always another tomorrow. I hope she throws them away. Maybe she had an unhappy life at home or broke up with her boyfriend or whatever. But you have to be a strong person.
Thank you for your sweet letter. ♥, BUBBY
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Tuesday, December 18, 2007
TO BUBBY!!
Send your bday wishes to Bubby in the comments below and we'll make sure she sees them all!
love, the granddaughters
♥, BUBBY
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Monday, December 3, 2007
Blast From The Past
Just for fun, we decided to post an old letter of Bubby's that to this day still remains... how shall we put this?... Relevant?
Feb. 11, 2004
Dear Bubby,
I worry that GW Bush is the worst president the U.S. has ever had and that this is the most critical historical period the U.S. has ever been in.
The combination of those two worries keeps me up at night. Now I have dark circles under my eyes and a permanent back ache, and I'm only 33.
Since you've seen a lot more of life than I have, can you reassure me that things have been this bad before, or maybe even worse, and they got better? Where does a person find hope in the dark moments of life?
Thanks,
Lily
Dear Lily,
Yes, Bush is the worst President we ever had. But we have had bad times and got through it. Do you listen to the programs on some of the political programs like CNN? Listen to as many as you can. I am a Democrat and that is the party of the people. I'm for Kerry and I would like to see Edwards as the No.2 man. I think they are both sincere and will try for the common people -- schools, health, jobs, etc.Don't give up hope. This is your country and my country and is the best in the world. The trouble will dribble out and our men will come home. I lived through a few wars. Remember the storm is over and the sun shines again. Just like Noah and his ark. Trust in G-d. Keep your spirits high and do what's right.
Good Luck. ♥, BUBBY
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Sunday, November 18, 2007
[Granddaughter note: While we had to edit this recent letter slightly due to length, we did not alter the spelling or grammar.]
Dear Bubby,
I am 30 year old woman and live in Shiraz-Iran. I love my country but its pretty mail domination. Which means woman have little opportunity. To find husband, take care of kids, and be obedient is the most important things for woman in my country. I had one terrible marriage experience. My ex-husband was addicted to heroin and my mother in law was abusive person. how ever after 1 month I got divorce. In my country is not appropriate for woman to get divorce and I considered as not good woman just because I was sure it’s not right to share life with rubbish man….
After my divorce I decided to run my own business, I am planning to make nice coffee shop but my mother thinks it’s better for me to get married as soon as possible because I am aging.
I don’t want to repeat my bad experience, my mother is finding me proposal like 40 years old or older… but I am not really interested to marry some one who is older besides the point I am not emotionally ready after what had happen, I just want to focus on my job. Although we have lots of argue, she always does what she wants.
How can I make her to listen to me? My mum was never a good listener at all….
Signed,
Looking For Answers
Dear Looking For Answers,
Nobody can tell you what to do with your life. You have to figure out what is good for you. Every person has a life and that person can decide what to do with that life. Do you want it to be good or do you want it to be bad? Whatever. You want to be well or do you want to be sick?
To be good is best. It doesn't take any more energy to be well as it does to be sick and bad. To be good leaves you free to do what you want to do. You have to work hard. That's the important thing. Nobody gives it to you. You must do it yourself. It's as simple as that.
First, you must get an education. When you have an education you are superior. You can always find someone your own age to marry (or a year or two older, or a year or two younger). You'll always find someone you can love and be married to, so I think your mother is wrong.
If you want to open a business, more power to you. You have to keep your eyes on the ball. It's not easy, but if you work hard, it comes to you. No question about it.
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Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Reader Update!
Dear Bubby,
I haven't been back to check this blog in a while, but every time I do come back, I am so happy to read all the wonderful advice Bubby has to give, and it's so wonderful to see how much love the granddaughters have for their Bubby.
Happy 91st birthday, bubby! My bubby also turns 93 today, and I'm so glad to hear that your bubby is doing well.
I don't think I've ever written to this site for advice, but I started checking this blog out a few years ago when a long-term relationship ended and I was doing lots of thinking about relationships and love. Bubby's kind words and wisdom were so supportive and smart.
Now I'm glad to give my own update. I've been in a wonderful relationship with a very kind, sweet, and handsome man, and he is meeting with the jeweller today to arrange for my engagement ring! It's so exciting to begin this new chapter of my life with someone I love so much.
So Bubby, thank you for all your wisdom along the way. Although it wasn't in direct response to me, you are helping so many people who not only write in with questions but read your advice and kind words.
Love,
I'm so excited...and I just can't hide it ♥, BUBBY
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Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Question of the day:
While we're waiting for Bubby to return, we thought we'd pose a question to you. Get the conversation started by posting in the comments below.
If someone you are dating tells you that they have been writing a blog about the details of their dating life since long before they met you, would you want to read it?
♥, BUBBY
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Sunday, October 28, 2007
Hey Gang!
Just an update for those of you kind people who still write to Bubby...
She's doing great! She still can't quite make it to her computer at this moment, so we are relying on alternative ways of getting her feedback onto the website (like hand-written notes, and audio recordings). So forgive the delay in posting. But she sends her regards to everyone, and says she is delighted to hear that you all still check her website daily.
And, yes, we know all the images aren't showing up here as they usually do. We are having some technical difficulties with our hosting company, and expect to resolve that shortly.
Love to all,
the granddaughters
♥, BUBBY
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Friday, May 25, 2007
Guess Who's Back!
Bubby wanted to say hello to everyone and let you know how she's doing. She thanks you all for those kind birthday wishes (she's 91 now!) and has lots to say below. We continue to receive letters from everyone around the world on a daily basis and the stories that you share with us are truly touching. Thank you so much.
Since Bubby couldn't possibly respond to the hundreds of letters waiting her reply in her inbox (did we mention she's 91?), she thought she'd offer some generalized advice that speak to the issues most of you write to her about.
So herrrrrrre's Bubby...
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Hello!
For a long time I wasn’t well and was not able to get back to my friends through out the country. But now I’m feeling better and I want to acknowledge all my friends who are so kind to write to me. And I wish them all well. And I hope they will continue to write and tell me about all the things they have been doing. I’m feeling much better and I’ve been spending my time knitting a lot of scarves.
Since Bubby couldn't possibly respond to the hundreds of letters waiting her reply in her inbox (did we mention she's 91?), she thought she'd offer some generalized advice that speak to the issues most of you write to her about.
So herrrrrrre's Bubby...
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Hello!
For a long time I wasn’t well and was not able to get back to my friends through out the country. But now I’m feeling better and I want to acknowledge all my friends who are so kind to write to me. And I wish them all well. And I hope they will continue to write and tell me about all the things they have been doing. I’m feeling much better and I’ve been spending my time knitting a lot of scarves.
Career Advice
First of all, you must love what you are doing. And you must decide what it is best for you. What interests you most? Because when you know what your interests are, you can develop a career. If you like to write, write a book. It can be a review of history, a love story, or a travel log from a vacation that you have had.
Family Advice
When you have a difference with anyone in the family, don’t stop talking to them. Your anger just grows and grows. If you have a difference with a family member, you call that person and you talk it over. Because every problem has a solution.
Money Advice
You don’t spend money you don’t have. Put it this way: You can charge. And when you get money at the end of the month, you pay all your bills. If you don’t pay all your bills one month, you have twice as many to pay the next month.
Well, there are several ways of approaching religion. There are some people that are ultra religious, and there are a lot of do’s and don’ts. You must thank God for all the good things and be tolerant of all the sad things that happen in a life time.
Love Advice
Well, the day I met my husband he was visiting a friend of his and he stopped to say hello on the way to the station. And I was there. My sister’s future mother-in-law invited me for dinner. And he sat down and had coffee and cake. And he looked at me and he said, pointing his finger at me, “I’m going to marry you.” And I said, “Oh the fortune teller told me I was going to be married twice.” And he said, “Well, I’m going to live with you the longest.” So I said, “We’ll find out.”My roommate was with me. And she said afterwards, that my eyes sparkled like a flirt. I was embarrassed.
And then it was time for him to go to the station. He missed one train. And then he missed another train. And then we had to go because there was only one more train to New York . And we walked him to the station, and he said, “Is it OK if I write to you? Will you answer me?” And I said, “If you want to.” And then the next day I got a letter. And then day after, I got another letter. And the day after, I got another letter. And everyday I got a letter from him. 215 letters. I think I still have a couple. So I answered him. But if I skipped a day, he would call me.
I was also seeing another boy at the time. His uncle was a doctor and he came from a comfortable family, because he had his own car, which was a big deal. When he drove he only wanted me sit up very close to him in the car. But he would come and sit on the porch with me. But when one of the girl’s in the sorority told him I had a boyfriend, he asked me if that was true. I said, “Well, I don’t know if I’d call him a boyfriend, but I see him a lot.” And that boy said, “Well, to me that sounds like a boyfriend.”
Then my father told me he didn’t like him. So I wrote him a letter. I wrote: “Don’t write to me anymore. Because my father told me I should break it off with you. So you have to forget about me. I must listen to my father. He pays my tuition.” But he wouldn’t take no for an answer. And we were married by his father, a rabbi.
Make sure that in your heart it tells you that this is the one. Or not. And he was the one. Because he was very, very kind. And he helped me in every way that he could. He went to school at night, worked during the day. He was a very good husband. When my son was born, he helped me. He made the funniest diapers. He put the diaper on, and as soon as you picked the baby up, they fell off.
I remember sitting in the hospital all day and all night. When he died, he died in my arms.
Be Happy
Life is what you make it. It can be happy or sad. But to be good it must be one of joy and happiness. Because every person has happiness in his soul. And if you keep thinking sad things, you are a sad person. So be happy. And life will be good to you. Everyday should be filled with sunshine and the sun follows the rain. The earth is cleansed.
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Thursday, May 24, 2007
Fun Summer Reading
Since so many of you write to us about broken hearts, longing hearts and hopeful hearts, we thought you'd like to hear about this new book. Bubby endorses it below (and you can view previews of the books, too)...
"If you want to read a good book, full of joy and good health and happiness, I recommend this book, especially if you are sad. And lonely. Reading this book will bring you joy and happiness. Joy and happiness will bring you good health. If you want to see some joy and fun, you must look at the cartoons made by my granddaughter. They are available on the Internet."
~ Bubby
And if you haven't yet checked out Bubby's book, it's the perfect read for a few hours at the beach. If you think YOU'VE got problems, check out what everyone else is kvetching about...
Available today at lulu.com
Post your reviews!
♥, BUBBY
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Saturday, December 9, 2006
Count Those Candles
Bubby's birthday is coming up in a week and she'll be 91 years old!
Use the comment box below to post your birthday messages to Bubby, and we'll make sure she reads them all.
In the meantime, we're re-posting a letter someone sent to Bubby back in July of 2004. And yes, it has to do with birthdays.
Thanks for reading!All the best,
the granddaughters
Dear Bubby,
My husband forgot my birthday this year. Should I also forget his?
From,
Alone in Jerusalem
Dear Alone in Jerusalem,
I know how you feel to be forgotten on your birthday by your husband but two wrongs do not make a right.
I would send him a card with nothing on it for one thing and a gift box with nothing in it. And if he says anything I would remind him of what he did to me.
And then I would say that now that we have both had our says -- Let's go out and celebrate for both of us. And I bet next year he will not forget at all.
Have a good time. Remember, there are forgetful moments in every life time. Let this be the last in yours.
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Sunday, December 3, 2006
Reader Update
Bubby sends her best to everyone and maybe soon she can put together a little message for you all. But in the meantime, she's resting up, and you're all moving on with your lives. We know that, because, you send us Update Letters! And we love 'em.
So here's a new one (keep sending them in, please! According to our poll, it's one of your favorite parts of this site).
On September 17, 2006, we posted a letter to Bubby from "Upset Girl". She was a 24-year old, recently graduated, hopelessly-in-love young woman. Imagine that. Problem was, her boyfriend the programmer never thought about marriage. And guess what, you'll never believe it: She did! A lot. She thought about what a good husband he would make, how good of a provider he would be, how well he would continue to treat her...
But when a girl thinks about those things, A LOT, and the boyfriend does not think about those things, like, EVER... Well, a girl starts to get upset. And a girl writes to Bubby asking what she should do. And Bubby writes back, saying, "Don't push it. If you push it, it will be over. Young men are fragile. Be smart, and you will win."
Fragile? Young men are fragile? Well, we had no idea. See, you can learn something new from Bubby everyday! Now it's a few months later, and we were wondering, has "Upset Girl" pushed boyfriend over the edge, or has he found his footing and set the date? OR.... has something entirely different happened? Sshh, let's find out...
Dear Bubby,
Thank you for giving me that wisely advice. Just 2 months after my first email to you, I made a horrible decision and I had to put an end to this fatal hesitation because I was in a very bad situation mentally, so I disclosed my expectations to my boyfriend and finally I told him I had spent enough time with him and had wanted to plan for the rest of my life with him.
I mentioned my purpose in an indirect manner, but he told me he never had any plan to marry neither me nor any other girl because he was very conservative person and feared from responsibility and also very career oriented and didn't think about getting married.
Despite that his statements were like cold water on my face, I found out the truth and understood that I had enticed my self all those times I was with him. This relationship had taken over my whole world but faced a bitter truth. I have detached emotionally with him and right now I don't know what I can do with the rest of our relationship. He doesn't have any problem with continuing our relationship but I am frantic how can I believe that I invested my time, my energy and my emotion for him without any good result that I desired?
I know the best thing to do is to walk away and get along with my own life. I know I can't endear my self to him any more.
By the way your blog is fantastic, I read it everyday and enjoy your nice advices. Despite I never see your lovely face, I know I always have a very especial and positive feeling toward you.
Love,
Upset Girl
Sounds like "Upset Girl" made a bold decision and asked him to step aside herself. But, she still sounds so Upset. Can any of you offer her some advice in the Comments box below so she cheers up?
Love,
the granddaughters
and
♥, BUBBY Thank you for giving me that wisely advice. Just 2 months after my first email to you, I made a horrible decision and I had to put an end to this fatal hesitation because I was in a very bad situation mentally, so I disclosed my expectations to my boyfriend and finally I told him I had spent enough time with him and had wanted to plan for the rest of my life with him.
I mentioned my purpose in an indirect manner, but he told me he never had any plan to marry neither me nor any other girl because he was very conservative person and feared from responsibility and also very career oriented and didn't think about getting married.
Despite that his statements were like cold water on my face, I found out the truth and understood that I had enticed my self all those times I was with him. This relationship had taken over my whole world but faced a bitter truth. I have detached emotionally with him and right now I don't know what I can do with the rest of our relationship. He doesn't have any problem with continuing our relationship but I am frantic how can I believe that I invested my time, my energy and my emotion for him without any good result that I desired?
I know the best thing to do is to walk away and get along with my own life. I know I can't endear my self to him any more.
By the way your blog is fantastic, I read it everyday and enjoy your nice advices. Despite I never see your lovely face, I know I always have a very especial and positive feeling toward you.
Love,
Upset Girl
Sounds like "Upset Girl" made a bold decision and asked him to step aside herself. But, she still sounds so Upset. Can any of you offer her some advice in the Comments box below so she cheers up?
Love,
the granddaughters
and
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Saturday, November 11, 2006
Hi everyone! (and Reader Update)
Sorry for the lack of posts and activity on the site for a while. Bubby is OK, just not up to writing lately (supposedly you're allowed to "take it easy" in life once you turn 90!). She still loves hearing from all of you, and receiving such warm accolades about the work she's done on this site for over 4 years!
Until she's back into the swing of things, we'd like to continue to share Bubby-related info with you. And today we have a new update! We love getting these from you, and according to our poll, you love reading them. So here goes...
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On September 17, 2005, we posted a letter from a young girl called, "Ready to Change". She wrote to Bubby with a sad heart. Only in 9th grade, she was nearly 200 pounds. She wanted to be healthy, she wanted to stay motivated to loose the weight, she wanted to stop feeling jealous of "skinny people". But it was tough. She asked Bubby what she should do.Bubby is quite a health-conscious grandma, and quickly told our young reader that she should go see a nutritionist. She wrote, "He or she will take some tests and put you on a very special diet. You MUST follow it implicitly." She warned our reader about the health risks of her condition such as high blood pressure, or diabetes.
Bubby concluded, "If you want to live to a right old age you must take care of yourself now... You will be able to enjoy life as you should at your age."
We were so happy to hear from Ready To Change one year later. She had a wonderful update to share with everyone.
Dear Bubby,
I sent you a letter over a year ago, going into ninth grade. At the time I felt really fat, and unloved. After getting your reply, I joined the swim team. I absolutely loved that experience. I wasn't a varsity swimmer, but I learned to develop my swimming skills. Our team was first in our league that year.
That school year I was the editor for my school yearbook and on the National Honor Society executive board. It was so fun interacting with all these athletes from my school (the school that I go to is really big on sports) while working on the yearbook and knowing that I was an athlete too.
Then, in the spring I took a risk and joined the high school Water Polo team. Water polo is my favorite sport, it is such an intense, fun game.
Near the end of the season, I took up running. I felt so powerful and in control. I wouldn't have done that last year, but I love running now. Now I am back on the swim team, and I'm really only a couple of seconds away from varsity.
I love myself, and I love hanging out with others. I feel like my life has made a huge change since then.
Thank You!
Changed
What a wonderful inspirational update. Thank YOU! ♥, BUBBY
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Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Hi Everyone!
Bubby's not feeling 100%, so she's taking a little break from advice-offering. But she still loves hearing about all the letters you have been writing to her, and knowing that you continue to come visit her blog. We wish we could publish every one of your questions!
Maybe now would be a good time for you to help her out. If you have previously sent Bubby a letter that she responded to with grandmotherly advice, please send us a new update on your story. It always makes her smile when she hears how your lives continue on. We'll post them on the blog!
All the best,
the granddaughters ♥, BUBBY
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Sunday, September 17, 2006
Dear Bubby,
I am 24 years old and graduated. I would like to marry my boyfriend who is 2 years older than me. I think he is good enough to build a new life with him.
He is a very good programmer and has financial security. His social status is good. He is mature and treats me fine and we love each other very much.
The problem is he never thinks about getting married and always he is thinking about his career and making progress more and more. This hurts me because I think although our relationship is good it may endures for the short run.
On the other hand, I think I am getting an old maid gradually and I haven't got married yet. I avoid asking my boyfriend for getting married and I'm not able to do so because I am shy and can't express my expectations so he has never thought I would like to be his wife. If he known my expectations, he would break up with me and I would get devastated. :(
What should I do for this dilemma? I will be appreciated for your help.
He is a very good programmer and has financial security. His social status is good. He is mature and treats me fine and we love each other very much.
The problem is he never thinks about getting married and always he is thinking about his career and making progress more and more. This hurts me because I think although our relationship is good it may endures for the short run.
On the other hand, I think I am getting an old maid gradually and I haven't got married yet. I avoid asking my boyfriend for getting married and I'm not able to do so because I am shy and can't express my expectations so he has never thought I would like to be his wife. If he known my expectations, he would break up with me and I would get devastated. :(
What should I do for this dilemma? I will be appreciated for your help.
From,
An upset girl
Dear Upset Girl,
Since you have already diagnosed his personality, the best thing you can do is be a good friend with him and let the relationship grow at its own rate. Many relationships grow into a deep love. Don't push it. If you push it, it will be over.
Young men are fragile. Be smart, and you will win.
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Monday, September 4, 2006
Dear Bubby,
Okay, I must be certifiable, but I need help. I will be thirteen in a month or so, but that isn't my problem.
My problem is that I truly love my best friend. It isn't "puppy love" and it DEFINITELY isn't just a crush. We've known each other for six years, half my life. I know everything about him, and he knows everything about me. We were as close as it can get.
But see, I did this stupid thing. I told him. At the start of the summer. And we basically haven't seen each other since. We don't talk, we don't see each other, nothing.
He had the opportunity to tell me how he feels about me (and I'm almost sure he at least partly feels the same way) but he didn't take it. I don't know if he just wishes to go back to being friends, or if he actually would want a relationship with me.
Since I haven't seen, heard, or anything about him, I'm guessing that he just doesn't love me back. I ruined one of the best friendships I had and will ever have. Where my happy loving heart once was, there's just a dull clenching pain. I've only told a few choice people about this, so I have no idea why I am telling this to an utter stranger and the rest of the planet.
I know I need to move on, but I just can't. What can I do to fix this broken heart of mine?
From,
Confused, broken hearted girl
Dear Confused, broken hearted girl,
There are some things you just don't tell and it's sure to make him run in a different direction. He doesn't want to be tied down to just one friendship.
If I were you I would try to say, "Hi, how are you?" and keep going and let him catch up to you and start a connection.
If he continues to go on his way, then you can be sure the friendship is over. You can find new friends and leave this one for the books. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Your heart isn't broken, it's just scratched a little.
There's a lot more there, and through the years you'll prove it. You will meet a lot of boys by the time you are grown and then you can judge who is really your friend. And when you find him, keep him. And have a beautiful friendship. And that friendship will come back to you. ♥, BUBBY
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Saturday, September 2, 2006
Newspaper Update!
We were so happy to receive a letter today from a nice woman in Brazil who was able to contact the journalist who wrote about Bubby in "O Globo" - Brazil's Newspaper. Here's what she told us:
Dear Bubby,
Hello! How are you? I love your blog. It's wonderful! Congratulations. I asked Sérgio Maggi, the journalist who wrote the story, and he sent to me. I hope you enjoy!
The text, and the translation:
CONSELHOS DE VÓ: Bubby pode ser a mais velha blogueira do mundo. Ela começou a escrever na internet aos 87 anos (hoje está com 90). As responsáveis pela estréia da velha senhora no mundo dos blogs foram suas netas. Elas achavam que os conselhos da sua avó eram bons demais e deviam ser compartilhados com mais gente. E assim, Bubby passou a dar conselhos via blog.
GRANDMOTHER'S ADVICES: Bubby may be the oldest blogger in the world. She started to write in the internet at 87 years old (today she is 90). The responsible ones for her beggining in the blog's world were her granddaughters. They really believe her grandmother's advices were so good they should be shared with more people. And now, Bubby is helping others through her blog.
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Monday, August 28, 2006
Dear Bubby,
First I want to say that I think your website is wonderful! It's beautiful to see you lovingly helping so many people out there!! If only there were more people like you out there. I send out much love to you!!!
I'm a 22-year-old male, and for the past 6 years I have been feeling more and more lost in life. I just finished college, majoring in science, and although I loved it at first, I ended college with no interest to pursue a career in the subject. I thought by this point in life, I would have my life sorted out a little more. Most people I know have figured out what they want to do with themselves, they know what type of occupation they want, and they are in long term relationships.
Here I am, with no real direction in life, have never had a solid relationship, and no sure sign of one happening soon (or ever).
I've decided to take a year to travel around. I spent 2 months living in Spain, and will be returning to Europe shortly. I'm hoping that travel will help me learn a lot more about the world, about people, and about myself. And hopefully it will help me find some direction.
My question is: Does direction in life ever come?? How exactly does one find it? My current plan is to wander the planet until I find it. And true love? Does it really exist? Is there really a soul mate for everyone? Does life ever come together?
I really need the advice of somebody who has been in the world long enough to know the nature of it better than I do.
Thanks so much,
Lost Seeker
Dear Lost Seeker,
I think maybe you don't give yourself enough time wherever it is you go. You should put down roots and get to know the people around you.
Take a job where there are lots of people. Maybe a large corporation. And you'll learn to deal with different personalities. Some will be good, some bad, some will have expectations and others will never get off the ground. And you should learn the difference.
Yes, there is a true soul mate. And you will find that it will find you. And one day without hunting, she'll be there. I know. Because I went through it.
Just wait and see. True love will come. ♥, BUBBY
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Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Reader Update
On July 9th, we received a letter from a 14-year old girl who called herself Sad and Confused. Despite the negative moniker, as she explained to Bubby, everything in her life was going great. However, she was still miserable. Most of it, it seemed, stemmed from struggles she felt she was having with her family. She and her mother were fighting, her brother was picking on her, and her father was pushing a bit too hard. That's how she felt, at least. Well, that doesn't sound too off base for the life of a 14-year old. Who hasn't had those struggles?
But like most teenagers, despite their strife, this young girl just wanted to feel the love. She wanted everyone to stop yelling at her. A teacher at school had given her a hug once, and it made her feel like crying. She told Bubby, "I really want my parents to hug me and tell me they love me... I'’ve been trying my best to be a good child, to not disappoint them."
Bubby was sad to hear such a young girl so blue, but offered some suggestions. First, she thought that mother and father and daughter should all sit down and have a good talk. Talking is always a good thing, especially because Bubby knew that deep down they all cared for one another. Second, she thought her brother should learn to mind his own business. And third, Bubby suggested that she talk to her teacher again, and perhaps get some additional help. The teenage years can be so hard!
Most importantly, and perhaps universally, Bubby advised, "Clearing the air now is more important than 'sweeping it under the rug', so to speak."
So a few months have passed, and we are happy to say we received another letter from our reader. But we're sad to say, it doesn't sound like much has improved. At least hearing from Bubby made her realize she's not alone!
Dearest Bubby,
Oh, Thank God you wrote back. I always hoped you would. I always checked back. I cannot express the relief that I feel that you've responded.
Thank God I'm not alone. Thank god someone will take a unbiased moments to listen to me. Your compassion is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I don't think it's an oncoming train.
Bubby, did you know my heart paused, frozen when I saw the reply from you? I thought surely I was imagining things, it was too good to be true.
Your suggestions are good, but I don't know if I'll be able to talk to my mom about this. I think I would have to talk to her though, to be able to go to a counselor. It is a sticky situation indeed.
Once I tried to go to a counselor at school. I spilled out every feeling that possessed me. She responded by telling me to draw a picture, as she proceeded to take pictures of her new engagement ring on her digital camera and send it to all of her little friends. It was when I was fairly young, but the concept of no one caring hit home that day.
That, Bubby, is why I never thought you'd actually respond. Your sweet suggestions and kindness are a breath of fresh air.
Thank you.
Your Friend,
Sad and Confused
If you've got some more heart-warming advice for this 14-year old, please share your thoughts in the opinions link below. ♥, BUBBY
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Thursday, August 17, 2006
1. Press Update!
We just got a nice note from a woman updating us on Bubby's new newspaper appearance. We weren't able to find it online, but we're happy to know that someone did!
I'm from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and I read about your blog in the newspaper. The name of the journalist who wrote the story is Sergio Maggi. Here is the link: www.oglobo.com.br.
2. Reader Update!
On November 16, 2005, we received a sad letter from a girl who wondered why she didn't have a boyfriend yet. Only 15 years old, she wondered if there was something wrong with her. Why was everyone else moving on with their lives, but she was left alone? Calling herself Pathetic, she wrote to Bubby, "I want to grow up, be my own person... But something is holding me back inside."
Instead of writing back to this young girl, Bubby recorded her advice to her. This audio post was the first of many that we posted a while back.
Today we thought we'd type up Bubby's advice to Miss Pathetic, and then follow up with her new update. If you'd like to listen along, you can download the mp3!
Hi Ms. Pathetic,
I really felt very sad when I read your tale of woe, because I don't think there's anything wrong with you. You're just feeling your age. And I'm sure there are plenty of young girls and boys that go to school and feel the same way that you do.
And as you get to be 16, and then 17... you'll think, "My, I certainly was a kid at 15!" And you'll gradually develop into a fine young woman.
Good luck.
♥, BUBBY
Well, it took less than a year for our young writer to blossom after all! This month she wrote us a very touching update letter, and we'd like to share it with you today:
Hello again.... Miss Bubby,
I remember the day I sent you my email of desperation. How long ago that seems...my, I certainly was a kid at 15!
We always have the ability to surprise ourselves. And my oh my, have I changed. I remember the tale of the ugly duckling that grew into a beautiful swan. It's funny how much that applies to me.
I wish that all young girls/women out there would not waste time on feeling insecure and living up to the pressures of their social lives. Youth is being wasted. Embrace your inner strength, haha.
And guess what, I'm starting to think that maybe I was better off without having to worry about relationships! But even if you don't end up married, or in love, you can meet brilliant people by being confident and social.
So thank you,
Definitely Not Pathetic
♥, BUBBY
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Tuesday, August 15, 2006
This Day In History
From The Archives: July 23, 2004
Dear Bubby,So many people say that "when it's love, you just know." I'm 26 years old, and I've never "just known," which I guess means I've never been in love. I very recently started dating a friend of mine, and my question is - how do you know when you're in love with someone? How do you know when a guy is your bashert?
Thanks so much,
Want to Know
P.S. - Your site is wonderful! I really enjoy reading it.
Dear Want to Know,
Not all marriages are made in heaven but you can get pretty close to it. In your case of 26 I think you have the ability to know when the right man comes along. Do you share the same values? Do you want the same things out of life - are you willing to give up some things for him such as moving to a different location and will he encourage you if you have a career or does he want you to stay at home? There are many more questions that you can think of. Is he considerate of you and shares your laughter and tears with you?If all of the above are answered correctly for you I would say "He is the one" because these are the things love is made of. If it works out for you and I am sure it will, show him the sparkle in your eyes and smile. Before you know it he will pop the question and I don't mean "what time is it?"
The time is now. Best of everything. ♥, BUBBY
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Monday, August 14, 2006
Welcome New Readers
We just got word that Bubby's website was featured in Rio de Janeiro's biggest newspaper. Well, that explains the jump in visitors from Brazil this morning. If that's how you found us, please let us know, since it's news to us. Even better, send us a link to the article.
Dear Bubby,
5 years ago my mom died. Since then I haven't had very much guidance on personal things. My dad doesn't like to talk about things like this so please answer my email.
I am 17 years old, and I think a girl I like likes me. When I am around her I can be myself and she makes me feel great inside. She has a great personality. I am too shy to ask her if she likes me though. How can I find out and how should I go about asking her on a date?
From,
A Shy Guy
Dear Shy Guy,
I am sorry about losing your mother but that is what life is all about - you pick yourself up and go on.
If you like this girl, why don't you ask her to join you for a soda or coffee. If the answer is YES - make up a time with her, pick her up and go. When you are settled you might spend a minute telling her about your mother. Then tell her you like her a lot and everything about her and hope she feels the same about you. At this point - do not mention LOVE. That is for a later date. If she likes you - she will tell you about herself. If she says nothing, you will know she is not for you. If it goes well - ask for a date to the movies. If she says YES - you are in. If she gives you a lame excuse - she is not interested in you. Give her up.
Don't be shy about being honest.
Good luck. ♥, BUBBY
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Sunday, August 13, 2006
Dear Bubby,
I am a 25-year old male who has been single for about a year after a relationship that had lasted 7 years.
During that time in the relationship, I never felt the need to make new friends because I was content with the friend I had already had, and never fully developed social skills.
I have a difficult time in crowded places and am always at a loss for words whenever I try to talk to somebody new.
What can I do to better improve? PLEASE HELP!!
From,
Tongue Tied
Dear Tongue Tied,
You wasted a lot of time but it is never to late to start to learn.
I think this girl is a way ahead of you. By 25 you should be able to talk like interviewing for a job or selling or something else. Look into classes in a school who gives these social skills. You will experience an awakening and a new life.
Read books and other publications so you will have something to talk about. Watch other young men as they act in crowds - if you go to parties or other functions go up and introduce yourself and talk because you should have started to learn social skills.
Get help and you will find a new life. Have more than one girl friend - you might also see a psychologist - and learn about yourself. You will gradually become a better person - an interesting one - read the news - always have something worthwhile to talk about.
Remember - he who helps himself becomes a better person.
Get busy if you want to win.
Good luck. ♥, BUBBY
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Friday, August 11, 2006
Reader Update
We love a fast turn around. Just hours after posting Bubby's advice to Love In The Hallways yesterday, we got an email from the same young man with an update.
Dear Bubby,
Your advice really helped me and turned out to be 100% true. My girlfriend and I broke up, which was definitely a turn for the best. There definitely are other fish in the sea. She definitely didn't like me as much as I liked her and I don't think she was ready for a relationship anyway. I'm glad you were able to help straighten me out.
Granddaughter's Note:
While we are so happy to hear that our new friend is getting on with his life, we have to interrupt his update with a quote from Bubby's advice to him yesterday. She didn't just tell him to break up with this girl, she also assured him of this:
At 15 you are just starting to grow into a young man so let this be lesson #1. You will meet many other girls who will try to make up to you and you may say to yourself, "Why are they bothering me?"
And now we return you to the last part of his update letter:
Although, I have a new problem. There's a girl at my school who really likes me and it's obvious to everyone, but I don't really like her like that way. There is another girl that I do like, but I don't really know if she likes me.
How can I ask out the girl I like without hurting the girl that likes me? Can you help me out again Bubby? I really love your advice.
Your friend,
Love in the Hallways
Want to offer your advice?
Post your suggestions in the comment box below. ♥, BUBBY
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Thursday, August 10, 2006
Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow...
Just a little bit of info before we get started. Bubby's not able to access her computer right now, but that hasn't stopped her from reading her letters. We, the granddaughters, have mailed Bubby her latest bunch, and while she was doing her laundry this week, she put pencil to paper and actually WROTE out all her responses. And she has quite lovely handwriting.
(So, yes, we typed them up for her. Enjoy!)
Dear Bubby,
I just recently found your website and I need your help. I've seen what others have asked you and I think your advice could really help me.
I'm 15 years old and am in school full time. Unfortunately, me and my girlfriend aren't in any of the same classes together and rarely see each other throughout the day, except for about 10 minutes in the morning. Usually we'll walk by each other in the hallway and say hey or chat for a very brief second.
We've been dating for a little over 2 months and everything's been great until now. Whenever I see her she'll give me a small glance and just keep walking by during school. Yesterday for instance, I called her after school to say "hey" cause we haven't talked in 2 days and she said she was sleeping and was really tired. So, I said I'd let her sleep and I asked her to call me back later when she was awake. She never called! If she called me and I was asleep or busy I'd immediately drop everything and talk for at least a little while.
Every weekend I try to do something with her, like go to the movies or a party or something fun. I'm trying to keep her entertained and attracted to me as best as I can.
Do you think I'm crazy? Am I trying too hard? Or is she just not right for me?
Help me if you can please.
From,
Love In The Hallways
Dear Love In The Hallways,
On all three of the last questions you asked me, the answer is YES.
The girl you are so in love with does not return your affection and she is trying to tell you that in a nice way - by being tired, sleepy and not calling you back. She is civil to you as you pass by in the hall - but that is all she wants from you.
At 15 you are just starting to grow into a young man so let this be lesson #1. You will meet many other girls who will try to make up to you and you may say to yourself, "Why are they bothering me?"
So the balls rolls or the music plays and when you get over this puppy pain and are looking at it about age 20 - you will have a big laugh and maybe really find a girl who will think of you as much as you will think of her and you will fall in love.
After rain there is always sunshine.
Be happy - study hard and prepare yourself for your future.
Good luck. ♥, BUBBY
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Monday, July 31, 2006
Reader Update: Most-Heart-Warming-Ever!
This "Reader Update" spans a few years.
On January 30th, 2004, we received a sweet letter from a man about to be married. He began his letter by telling Bubby that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with his beautiful bride.
But... he was nervous. Calling himself, "Scared of Confettti", he confessed to Bubby that he felt the grip of fear getting tighter and tighter, each approaching day scarier than the one before. He asked Bubby, "Is this normal?" Would he be a good husband? Would he be a good father if they ever had children? Could he handle it all?
Bubby replied with a laugh. She assured him that when she was in his shoes (many years ago), she felt the same way! She said to him, "Marriage is a giant step but don't run --- walk. Did it occur to you that your fiance may be feeling the same way? Consider this a step through a tunnel but the sun is shining on the other side. Just be yourself. If you find something is not right, the two of you should talk it all out rationally and don't harbor any resentment. And don't go to bed angry."
In regards to their future children, Bubby said, "Just be an understanding, loving father. Just be yourself... and it will all turn out OK.
And Bubby confidently concluded, "Call me in about 2 years."
Well, one month after that we received another letter from Scared of Confetti. He wrote to Bubby that he had returned from a wonderful honeymoon, and his wedding day was completely nerves-free. He wrote, "I cried when my bride walked down the aisle - she was a radiant picture of beauty personified and any nerves or apprehension I had went out the window."
It was such a wonderful update, and we wished them lots of love and luck in the future.
Then just this week, nearly 2 years after he wrote to Bubby, we received our third letter from Scared of Confetti. And this one really made us smile.
Dear Bubby,
Inspired by reading some recent updates, and something someone said to me today, I thought I would write you a short update.
About two and a half years ago I emailed you because I was about to get married and I was "scared of confetti". You gave me some good advice and reassured me that my feelings of cold feet were natural. I married my girl, and a couple of months later I sent you my first update to tell you how good life was after getting married. I showed my wife my emails and your advice back then, and she laughed so hard, jokingly saying that you would have to become the honorary grandmother to our children.
Well here's my second update Bubby - we're still very happily married, and yesterday my amazing wife gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy I've ever seen; our first born. I think he takes after me because as he was being delivered, he decided to pee all over the place!
This morning I went back to the hospital to see my wife and son, and as she was nursing him she looked at me, winked, and said "You must tell Bubby!"
Bubby, your advise did more than just help me get over my nerves of getting married. Because I was able to see past my nerves, the circle of life has come around again, and now we have the most amazing gift that God could have given to us - a fragile, precious little life for us to raise and look after.
Scared of confetti? No way! I'm just not looking forward to changing the first diaper.
Thanks Bubby!
Sincerely,
Now I'm Scared of Diapers!
♥, BUBBY
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Friday, July 28, 2006
This Day In History
From The Archives: July 28, 2004
Dear Bubby,
I have a really big problem. When I was in tenth grade, my boyfriend said that our relationship could not work. Now we're at the same college and he wants to get back together again. I love him with all my heart, but I'm afraid he might say we have to break-up again, and I don't want my heart broken twice.
Now I know you can't give advice that easily on things like this, so I will describe "Will" to you. He's Jewish, (not that I care, I just know you are, and I am too) smart, loyal, funny, cute, and an all around nice guy. So you are probably wondering why I wouldn't want him. It's not that I don't want him, I love him!! It's just that, as I said before, I don't want my heart broken again.
Now I know this will be really hard to answer, but all I want is your opinion. Like, what *you* would do in this situation? I might or might not take your advice. Thank you!
By the way, he didn't go for another girl when we were apart. I know that for a fact. He said he dumped me because he was being a "jack-ass", as he put it.
From, Clara
Dear Clara,
I agree with "Will". I think he is right when he calls himself a "Jackass". He probably checked out all the "chicks" that are on campus and could not find any one to suit him so he must figure you are there so until someone else comes along you will do.
If I were you I would tell him that at the moment you are not interested and play a little hard to get. See how he reacts. Why should you be hurt a second time? And besides, you might just meet another young man that will appeal to you more. Since you are just in your sophomore year in college you have plenty of time. By the time you are a senior, you will have better values and will have many more very nice "guys".
Don't let this young man think that all he has to do is crook his little finger and all will be forgiven. He hurt you too much -- not again.
Good hunting. ♥, BUBBY
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Thursday, July 27, 2006
First Things First...
Congratulations to Bubby for being listed as today's Cool Site Of The Day! Welcome all new readers!
Second Things Second...
It's time for another Reader Update!
On June 28th of this year, we received a letter from a young woman with a fiance on the fence. Their original wedding date had been postponed (thanks to him), and ever since then the topic of "marriage" had grown quite taboo between them. In fact, he went so far as to request she no longer bring it up!
Of course, our reader was responding with frustration. She said to Bubby, "He should not have proposed to me if he had no intentions of marrying me." She was starting to think she should move out of their shared apartment (which he did not want her to do), and was debating whether to call the whole relationship off for good. She confessed, "Why buy a cow when you have milk for free?"
So that's why she came to Bubby, of course. Who else is there to turn to but a 90-year old Jewish grandma with a blog when it comes to times like these?
And what do you think Bubby said? Stay the course? Try and you will succeed? Switch to soy milk?
No, of course not. Bubby wasted no time getting straight to the point: "I think that this guy likes getting his milk for nothing. I think that as long as he's getting what he wants, why should he take on the responsibility that something like that would really entail?"
Not one to mince her words, Bubby assured our reader, "I don't see any future with him. I think you should drop him.... There are plenty of fish in the sea."
Well, with all those fish swimming around, we were anxious to know how our reader was doing. And today we have our answer:
Dear Bubby,
It will interest you that I left my fiance few days after I got this advice from you because it was silly for me to stay with a man who is not willing to take a jump to a new journey together.
A few